


When Life is a Song

by Darkhymns



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Canon, School Dances, Teenage Dorks, but mostly cute dorks, some very brief religious conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28292679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkhymns/pseuds/Darkhymns
Summary: Genis narrowed his eyes, looking up at Lloyd and Colette both. “You two… What kind of dancing was that?” He frowned, standing on his tip toes, trying his best to be tall, though in comparison to his already tall friends, this only slightly worked. “How about we leave some room forMartel,huh?"That… made no sense to Lloyd at all.“Whatare you talking about?”In which there is awkward dancing, awkward confessions, and awkward musings about a sleeping Goddess.
Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	When Life is a Song

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift fic for [Poesby](https://twitter.com/Poesby) as part of the Secret Santa Exchange held in the Colloyd discord server! One of your prompts really reached out to me and I couldn't help but write a full fic about it, so I hope you enjoy! Thank you for being a part of the server and also sharing your wonderful art too! Happy Holidays!

It was at a school dance that Lloyd first realized he was in love with Colette.

That dance happened just a year before Colette would be off on her journey to regenerate the world, Lloyd remembered. No oracles had come down to Sylvarant, and no Desians had gone to attack the Martel Temple where she would train and take her lessons on the scriptures of the Angels. It was still just in the tail-end of spring, before the air would grow more humid with the coming of summer. The farmer’s crops had yielded their share, and the treaty still kept them safe, as far as everyone was concerned.

It was the Professor that had arranged the school dance to begin with, which had always confused Lloyd back then, even though she claimed that it was to celebrate a successful school year. Only years later, after the journey, would he realize that perhaps this had been his teacher’s way of giving Colette what had been denied her for so long. Never allowed outside of the village, with sometimes her entire days being holed up in that temple, Colette barely got to just relax and enjoy the normalcy that everyone else had. 

But of course, Raine had to make that be a part of school somehow.

“Lloyd! Why are you so late?!” Genis was standing at the wooden door to the Iselian schoolhouse, hands on his hips, and looking very displeased. The air around them was warm, even in the early evening, carrying the scent of the oak trees that surrounded the village. “The party started a half hour ago!”

“Gah, sorry!” Lloyd said, rushing up to the entrance as if he had just run all the way from his house. Which, well, he did! Once he realized he was late… “Noishe doesn’t like to walk around the forest at night, and it’s really dark! Monsters are also kind of a pain…”

Genis wasn’t convinced. He eyed Lloyd’s outfit. “And you just wore the same thing you wear every day to a party ever since you were 13?”

“It’s not the same thing!” Lloyd proudly pointed at his familiar red jacket, but specifically at the buttons that lined up his torso and sleeves. “See? These are golden buttons! This is my _fancy_ jacket!”

“…That’s stupid. You can barely even tell they’re different in the light!”

“At least I’m not wearing a lame bowtie,” Lloyd argued back. Bright red and decorating Genis’ little suit like he was a doll, Lloyd would have teased more had he not felt Raine’s sudden smack across the back of his head, his only warning being the slow smile on Genis’ face just a half-second before.

“Don’t be rude, Lloyd. And you are very late. This is going to affect your grade, you know.”

“What?! I’m being graded for a school party?!” But he barely got to argue, already being pushed along into the schoolhouse by Genis. To think that he’d have to go to school still on a weekend…

He hadn’t realized how that night would be so important to him then.

The schoolhouse wasn’t big, containing only one room for the entire class. But with the desks put away, replaced with tables of home-cooked food from local chefs in the village, and fun party decorations that lined the walls, it looked so entirely different. Streamers that were a multitude of colors flowed down from the ceiling, and even some balloons were tied around the place, some having cut loose and now floating way up high to the wooden beams overhead.

And honestly, to Lloyd, it still felt a bit like another school day with the other students here too. The girls who always gossiped in the corner were chatting away in the very same place, but wearing different dresses that looked like the colors of the grass outside. And the boys that he remembered being part of Professor Sage’s fan club were milled about in a small group, sneaking occasional glances towards the door where Lloyd and Genis came through, groaning when seeing their teacher wasn’t with them. They always had more and more members than he thought…

But the ages of everyone also ranged all over the place, from those being as old as him, to others as young as seven. He could already see a group of the youngest students trying to play tag with each other while flitting about the tables, treating the party as if it was just another recess period. That was what happened when everyone in the village had their classes at one place and with just one room.

But through all that, through all the people he recognized and the color that brightened the walls, he searched for her, barely finding a trace.

“Where’s Colette?” he finally asked Genis.

The boy pointed to the back of the classroom-turned party hall. “Over there when I last saw her. She tripped, and well…”

Lloyd winced, knowing exactly what that meant. “Ah man, again?” Hopefully she was okay, but then again this was the usual for her.

“She didn’t mess with my decorations at least, but I made sure Raine healed her of any injuries.” Genis nodded, looking proud of himself for that decision. “Anyway, I don’t think she’s moved from there since.”

“Why aren’t you hanging out her? She’s probably been really bored of this party!” Now Lloyd was starting to feel bad about being late if Colette had been by herself this whole time.

“Hey! It’s not boring!” Genis argued. “Besides, I can’t hang out as I’m in charge of chaperoning. Well, sis is, but I’m helping out!”

Lloyd tilted his head. “Chapa what?”

Genis frowned. “...Just go to her.”

Honestly, Lloyd didn’t need to be told twice, already heading off while Genis was still talking. “Whatever you say!!” Saying the last bit in a shout was not exactly the smartest move, the sound traveling easily in the room and making heads turn; from the kids playing tag, to the boys still gossiping, openly wondering why Raine wasn’t here yet…

It made her head turn too, just in time.

Underneath the dim lights of the set table lamps and the stars outside, he saw Colette, still brushing away the wood chips from her dress. A familiar-shaped hole was just behind her, which was about her very height and width. Maybe something that Lloyd could help fix up later…

But it was at his sudden shout, bouncing across the room that took her attention, made her turn to see him coming over. “Lloyd! You finally made it!”

And for one moment, Lloyd slowed his steps.

Back then, maybe Lloyd hadn’t understood what he felt just yet. Colette’s dress was different from her usual one, still covering her from head to toe. But it was more flowy than her usual, the edges trimmed with lace, her hem printed with star-shaped patterns. It was a summer dress perfect for the warm air outside, the kind that would let her feel the summer breeze. Her hair was also tied up in a bun, showing off more of her face, such as the red on her cheeks, and the dimples that formed whenever she smiled.

Lloyd hadn’t understood why his heart had beat so strangely back then, why he took a moment to speak… and why he suddenly felt a little ashamed at how he dressed, wishing he had gotten something cooler, like a cape, or maybe even a party mask… “Uh, hey Colette! Why are still over here?”

Colette laughed, though she looked nervous as she did so, still brushing away more invisible dust from her dress. “Ah, well, I messed up…”

She gestured to that hole, scratching her cheek in embarrassment. “I’m not even sure how I did it this time!”

“Oh right… It must be all these balloons here,” Lloyd offered as an explanation. “They’re in the way of the floor a lot!”

“Aw, but they’re really cute. I was afraid I’d pop them if I get too close.”

Lloyd reached out to one balloon floating nearby, its pink color so bright and pastel-shaded that it drew the eye a bit. “Nah, there’s no way these can just pop that easily!” He took its string, pulling it to him quickly. “You just gotta-” _Pop!_

The sound made both Lloyd and Colette flinch, along with a few other people who stood nearby. From the front of the room, he heard Genis yell out to him. “Lloyd! Careful with those!”

“Er, sorry about that!” Now Lloyd held a completely deflated balloon by its string, smiling at Colette shamefacedly. “Guess we both should be careful…”

Colette giggled. “It’s okay, I’m just happy you’re here. I thought that maybe you wouldn’t come.”

“No way! I uh, did kinda forget for a little bit, but then I remembered!”

Her smile was gentle in that dim light, and it was different than what Lloyd was used to, even though he was always seeing Colette’s smiles each day. _How come…?_ She spoke again, breaking the brief little spell he was under. “And you have new clothes too! I really like those golden buttons.”

Lloyd stood there in shock. _She noticed!_ “Y-yeah! It’s my fancy set! See, look, look!” He turned around, showing off the white ribbon strips that streamed from his collar, looking the usual to the untrained eye until…

“Oh! There’s patterns on it!” Colette said, reaching out to hold one of the ribbons, so softly in her hands. “They look like little dogs!”

“Hehe. I was using Noishe as a subject to make these! I still gotta get better at sewing though…” He turned back around, while Colette still held onto that ribbon, tracing the shape along the surface. He stared at what she wore as well, so used to her thick overcoat and not the dress that fluttered about her legs freely. “And, uh, you look pretty great too!”

“Hehe, thanks. Usually the Church doesn’t want me to but… they said it was okay for tonight.” Her voice lowered a fraction, her fingers still twiddling with the ribbons until the note of a flute floated in the air. She dropped it in surprise, raising her head. “Oh!”

Lloyd turned around, seeing some of the other students gathered near the very front of the classroom (party room?); one girl was holding up the flute that played softly, while a spectacled boy was by her side, strumming a guitar, and another was holding up a triangle, waiting for the perfect moment to strike it… “Isn’t that the music club?” he asked aloud.

“Oh, they’re playing for the party! That’s so nice.” Colette clasped her hands to her chest as some of the other students moved from their groups to go out into the middle of the room. The music was still in its beginning phases, but the tune was finding its place, delivering a rhythm that even the youngest student could jump around to. The song was simple, the beat easy to nod heads to.

“Wow…” Lloyd hadn’t expected this party to be much of anything, but the music stirred something in his chest. Did Iselia do stuff like this often? Was this what he was missing living so far off in the forests with his dad? He looked at Colette, finding her suddenly very quiet, eyes rapt to the front of the room.

“Colette, what’s up?” he asked.

“Hm? Ah nothing! Well maybe just, um, Lloyd…” Her voice held something soft that he didn’t understand, not just yet still, but it made him give her his full attention either way. The candlelight within the lamps shone off her tied-up hair, illuminated the stars on her dress, all as the music stirred louder around them. “Do you think… you want to try dancing?”

Lloyd only felt a twinge of nervousness – just a bit. But not enough to make him hesitate or refuse. With a grin, he held out his hand for Colette to take. “Yeah! Just uh, I haven’t ever danced before.”

“Hehe, that’s okay! I haven’t done anything like this before either, I think.”

“So that sounds like a pretty good excuse to try it then,” he teased, feeling her hand go in his. It always felt so natural to hold her hand like this, like it was just the right size when her palm pressed against his. His heart went _ba-dump!_ all the sudden, but he only focused on Colette, walking with her to the floor, hearing that same flute play with more energy, the student musicians giving it all they had.

On the way, Colette caught the edge of her shoe against a small pile of confetti on the ground. Lloyd reached out with both arms to catch her, pulling her up. “Oh, uh, watch out for those!” It was literally just paper Colette had tripped on but somehow that was enough…

“Ah, I’m sorry… I’m just too clumsy.” She bit her lip. “Maybe this is silly…”

“Didn’t you just say you wanted to try?” Lloyd asked, genuinely wondering. And they were already here, weren’t they? A brief glance to their surroundings showed him how everyone else danced too; many of them just excitedly moving around each other in erratic patterns, while others interlocked their arms together, skipping across the floor. Genis was to the side, arms crossed, looking out over the place with a certain pride, with Raine finally not far behind. She was taking a red pen to a piece of paper she held in her hand… She really _was_ grading people right now!

He had a few ideas on how he couldn’t fail on this.

Lloyd quickly looped his right arm into Colette’s left, keeping her close. He heard her lightly gasp, but she didn’t move away, her cheek brushing against his shoulder as she turned to him. “How about this? You definitely can’t fall if we dance this way!”

Colette looked radiant before nodding in approval. The warm light over her hair made it glow, and she gripped Lloyd’s arm back just as tightly. “Okay!”

Lloyd had no idea what song was playing, or if it was a mish-mash of many at once. (The students were still learning, after all). But as he took Colette out to the floor, he made sure to keep her standing upright. The most he knew about dancing was a few dwarven jigs, and Lloyd quickly kicked out his legs to imitate such a thing, moving to the beat of the song(s). “Dad taught me this!”

“Oh, I wanna try!” Colette saw and then attempted to follow through. The hem of her dress flew along with her, and already Lloyd could see her tilt a bit backwards at the motion. But he kept hold of her fast, and even when she lost her balance, soon she was falling back against his arm safely. “Ah! I almost fell again…”

“But you didn’t! See? I won’t drop you, promise.”

Colette’s face was nearby, a few stray blonde strands already slipping from her bun. “Okay, I trust you!”

Even as they tried out their dwarven steps that a few people raised an eyebrow at, Lloyd felt the night rush around him. They were clumsy on their feet, and they bumped into other pairs that were also out on the floor. But even through all the stumbles, Lloyd felt his cheeks ache with a constant smile.

Even for a party that he was being graded on, this wasn’t so bad at all.

Still, there were a few hiccups along their dancing journey. Colette would somehow, through by her own little miracles, accidently step on someone else’s toes, earning a complaint from the victim. “Sorry!” she’d say, and then trip over another person, and then sometimes, even accidentally planting her heel against the tip of Lloyd’s boots.

“Ah! Oh no…”

“Hey, that’s nothing!” Lloyd reassured, the pain simply brief and then forgotten. But he’d have to carry her closer, or hold her nearer to avoid everyone else. “Just follow my lead!”

“I thought I was…”

“Oh, watch out for that other balloon!” he warned before neatly whisking Colette off her feet, saving her from accidentally popping the party decoration. “Phew. Just in time.”

“S-Sorry about that!” Colette giggled, hands placed on his shoulders as he held her up by the waist. Her cheeks were red from their dancing, and she was catching her breath, all while she grinned so wide.

Lloyd didn’t move for a few moments, staring at her before finally getting the idea to set her down. “No more apologizing, remember?” he teased, one hand slipping from her side while the other lingered. Because they were going to keep dancing! Unless she was tired? “Did you wanna keep going?”

Colette nodded, and the relief in Lloyd was so palpable, he wondered then just what he would have felt if she had said no. The music still went in their same beat, bringing everyone else on the floor into more energetic movement. A pair of young children swerved around them both, one of them bumping against Colette’s leg and offsetting the precarious balance she always had.

With hardly any sound, she fell forward. Lloyd caught her deftly by the waist once more, because it was natural to do so. She was always so light between his fingers.

“Still not letting you fall,” he said to her with a smile, helping her stand up just a bit. “No matter how many little kids run into you!” In this room right now, that was a very high probability.

“Hehe…I’ll do the same for you!” Colette said, straightening, but only a bit. She was leaning against his chest, head tilted downward. He still held her, and she felt perfect against his palms. “Wow, those buttons are really shiny…”

“Told ya they were!” Lloyd said with pride, having made sure to extra polish them before coming over. But even with that, and the frenzy of the students around them who still danced to the music, he felt a little calmer then usual. Colette hadn’t moved away and he didn’t want to question why.

“Sorry,” she whispered again, hands reaching up to clasp before her chest. But her knuckles just brushed against the front of his jacket. Her fingers loosened their hold on each other. “Just trying not to trip…”

She was shuffling her feet across the floor. Lloyd found that he did the same, keeping the slow, slow pace with her.

Were they still dancing? It didn’t match the music, or everyone else around them…but he liked it.

“Dork, don’t apologize,” he chided once again, but softer. Would she be able to hear him through the noise? But she was so near, she must have. Her hands finally let go of each other to press against his jacket lightly. “But, this works out, doesn’t it?”

“Hm?” Colette, eyes half-lidded, raised them to meet Lloyd’s own.

“If you’re tired but don’t wanna stop dancing, we can just do this.” This seemed like the perfect solution, that and holding Colette this way made him feel so warm. “Right?”

“Yeah, hehe.” She nodded, her cheeks still a bit red, her hair still reflecting the dim light of the room. “Just tired… And, you don’t mind?”

He had more to say, but the way she looked up at him made his words catch in his throat for a short moment. How to say that he really, honestly, liked this so much? “I don’t mind…” he told her, and as she lingered in his hold, he wanted to say something more. “Hey, um…”

Colette gave him all her attention, a hand now over one of those bright buttons of his. “Yes, Lloyd?”

Something that his voice was doing, his own brain barely able to catch up. But with Colette, it felt natural still. Along with…

“Do you think…that maybe you and I could-”

“Noooope!”

And then he felt a sudden force between them, with Colette somehow further away from him? But she looked just as confused in the position, her hands held up in the air with surprise. _Huh? What is-?_

It was only the tell-tale peek of silver hair that brought Lloyd’s eyes down to see Genis was right in-between them, hands pressed against their stomachs as he pushed. “Red flag, you two!”

Both Lloyd and Colette blinked, looking down at their tiny friend, who was doing all he can to stretch out his arms. “Oh, Genis!” said Colette, smiling down at him, even though she was still very confused. “Um, is something wrong?”

Lloyd was less nice about it. “Yeah, what gives? Ow!” Also, Genis was pushing on his stomach way too hard!

Genis narrowed his eyes, looking up at Lloyd and Colette both. “You two… What kind of dancing was that?” He frowned, standing on his tip toes, trying his best to be tall, though in comparison to his already tall friends, this only slightly worked. “How about we leave some room for _Martel,_ huh?”

That… made no sense to Lloyd at all. “ _What_ are you talking about?”

“But… Martel isn’t here though.” Colette argued, though she sounded just as confused. “I mean, I guess she is everywhere technically… Oh, Genis! Can you talk to Martel? Is she dancing with us?” Then a softer question, her concern so apparent. “Are we squeezing her too tight?

“N-No! It’s an expression!” Genis sighed, putting down his arms but still standing in-between them. “You’re getting way too lovey-dovey in here. You’re just lucky my sis isn’t watching right now.”

And that was it, the moment Lloyd completely understood what he had been feeling all evening just then. He could only hope the light was dim enough to not show off his blush, and that the crack in his voice was unnoticeable. “K-Knock it off!” Had that been it all along?

Colette also looked a little shocked…. Though maybe for different reasons. “I didn’t know Martel would be so angry…” She bowed her head to Genis. “I’ll tell her I’m sorry.”

“Colette, I just said it was an expression! Agh, forget it.” Genis still hadn’t gotten out of their way, which probably made Lloyd more annoyed at his friend then he had ever been. “I have to watch out for you guys all the time.”

“No you don’t!” Lloyd argued. “We’re older than you!”

“Sometimes I honestly wonder about that.”

Colette was more patient than Lloyd, but her hands still hovered over her chest, fiddling with her fingers as she could only just stand and wait. “Um, does this mean we’re not allowed to dance anymore?”

Genis sighed and waved away the question, already stepping away. “Go ahead, but again: No lovey dovey stuff. It’s weird!”

Lloyd was about to protest that it wasn’t _that_ lovey! Even if the memory of holding Colette close got his heart racing just a little bit… But Colette stepped forward, taking Lloyd’s right hand in her left, while placing her other hand on his shoulder. The way she took over made him lose his very track of thought.

“Is something like this okay? Oh, maybe you can dance with us too, Genis!”

Genis flushed then. “No way! I’m still chaperoning! So you two better keep those hands where I can see them!” Pointing at his two friends, Genis walked off, maneuvering easily between other dancing pairs across the floor.

Lloyd stood there now, gripping her hand tightly in his, unused to this somewhat fancy dancing position she had gotten them into. “Is he still watching us?” Lloyd asked Colette, who still faced the direction Genis had gone off to.

Colette leaned past his shoulder slightly, the loose collar of her dress falling gently across her neck. The sight made him consider a few new feelings in him. “A little bit… But he keeps looking at the musicians a lot!”

“Genis always wanted to play that flute,” Lloyd said, letting his other hand fall to her waist again. Again, fitting so perfectly against his palm. “Um, did you still wanna dance?”

She smiled up at him, and even though she wasn’t as near, the sight of it got him feeling warm. “Only if you want to.”

So Lloyd took her hand and they tried again to dance across the floor with the others, not as slow as before, but careful to not trip Colette’s feet. Still, he had to swerve her out of the way of an excited third-grader, or another couple that kept stepping too near their pace. It was only a matter of time before Colette tripped again!

“If we danced outside it’d probably easier…” he whined aloud, needing to make another quick swerve to the left to keep Colette from running into a table. “More room to move around, also way less stuffy than in here!” That was also one other issue; having so many people packed into one large room made him yearn for fresh air.

“Hehe, and the moon outside looks really pretty too.” Colette turned her head to the windows, where the torches that served as Iselia’s light helped illuminate the dirt roads outside.

“You think so? I guess it kinda does.” Lloyd looked too, then back to Colette. She blinked up at him as he shifted his hands to hold both of her own. “Is Genis still watching?”

A soft pause, but she looked again past him. Her loose hair tumbled just past the shell of her ear. She then giggled. “He’s now trying to play the flute too!”

 _Perfect._ He shared with her a grin, all while still holding her hands, that he had shared with her so much over the years, the kind that he knew Colette would recognize what it meant.

“So,” he started to ask, tilting his head towards the door. He had again seen the night sky outside, how inviting it looked, with the stars so intensely bright, with even the upright torches so warm. “Wanna sneak out?”

The party was festive, with music that was now accompanied by a few off-beat tunes from a certain flute. But it was always nicer when it was just the two of them anyway.

“Oh…” Colette breathed, and then he saw the hint of a smile at the corner of her lips. “You think we could?”

“Genis is distracted.” Another piercing flute note that made Lloyd wince slightly. Yeah, he was definitely distracted. “It’s now or never!”

He barely had to wait for Colette to decide – who already locked his arm in hers, head just slightly touching his shoulder.

“Just so I don’t trip,” she said, winking at him.

Lloyd knew exactly what he was feeling then, and it only made him smile. “Yeah!”

With the two of them together, they had all the awkward grace of a stumbling newborn deer, but it hadn’t mattered much. They had rushed out from the schoolhouse, once again underneath the soothing dark sky. Lloyd quickly ushered Colette, their boots stepping hard on the wooden doorsteps. “Come on, come on!”

“I am!” Colette agreed, but her eyes had caught something else, just behind them as they finally got out into the open world before them. “Oh, is that the Professor…?”

Lloyd swore he felt his blood leave his face at the mention of it. He dared to turn, saw that familiar frown framed by silver hair as their teacher stomped after them. “Uhhh let’s go right now! Hurry!”

“Waa! O-Okay!” And somehow, in their mad dash away from the schoolhouse, Colette didn’t trip or slow down. She held fast to Lloyd’s arm, and rushed alongside him down the Iselian roads. Dirt kicked up at their travel, but neither really cared at all.

* * *

“Okay…I think we lost her,” Lloyd said as stopped at a nearby hill to catch his breath. It was a place that overlooked Iselia, but still stayed clear of the forests where monsters roamed. He winced then, remembering. “Man…I probably got detention for a week now.”

Colette was also panting a bit, but each breath she let out was like an airy giggle, making her shoulders shake. “We ran so fast! I think I tore my dress a little too!”

“Huh!?” Lloyd snapped his head up towards her, and then immediately saw that tear on the hem of her outfit. “Dammit, it must have been when we ran past that tree and a branch got you… Argh, I’m sorry.”

“Why are _you_ apologizing?” Colette asked, sticking out her tongue at him. “But if you really wanted, maybe you can fix it for me later.”

“Oh, yeah! I can do that!” Lloyd figured he could use the practice at sewing. If he could stitch up the face of a dog into his ribbons, he could fix up a dress!

“And besides, we can dance out here.” Colette reached forward to grasp his hands. “Like you said?”

“Heh, already? There’s no music this time, but we don’t need it!” And he went to grasp her hand in his, the other settling on her waist. “And no people to trip you.”

“Yeah! Unless you do.” Another tease, prompting out a ‘Hey!’ from Lloyd but she only laughed, and so did he. The night air was comfortable, and the flowers that were near surrounded them with the scent of pollen, mixed in with the pine from the forest.

And then – another trip.

Colette this time got her boot caught up in a tangled nest of grass stalks and weeds. She fell back, pulling Lloyd down with her until they were both sitting on the grass, legs askew.

“You let me fall!” she told him with a grin.

“I didn’t think you _could_ even fall now!” Lloyd protested. He sat up straighter in the grass, hands still on Colette as he helped her do the same. “I want a do-over.”

It must have been something from before that made him still keep his hand in hers, that made his thumb brush against her dress, now not only torn, but stained from the grass. He hoped she wouldn’t be in trouble, not with her grandmother, or the Church, or with Professor Sage who had just saw them sneak out…

“Lloyd…” Colette asked, and her voice was now more serious than before. It made him pause, wondering. Maybe he was being too weird with her now, and she didn’t like it and- “Didn’t you want to ask me something before?”

Oh. He hadn’t expected that. There was no warm candlelight to color her hair, but the moon made it shine even more, highlighted the many ruffles and folds of her dress.

“Haha, um…” He did know. He knew exactly what he wanted to ask, even before he understood the significance. “It’s too lame though.”

“I won’t think so,” Colette reassured him.

“Why do you say that?” he asked, curious.

“Because it’s you, Lloyd. I know I’ll be okay with what you want to say.”

She was okay with being with him too, away from the party, their hands still clasped.

“Ah well…” he hedged, feeling suddenly so childish in all the wrong ways. “Maybe it’s a weird thing to ask.”

At that, Colette only looked even more curious, looking up at him. No crowd to continually make her trip, or the well-meaning friend of theirs to keep them from getting too close, or the teacher who probably already had their grades set.

It was just Colette, and no one else.

“Do you think, um…” Lloyd started, worried for an interruption; from the sky, from the forest nearby, or from Colette. But she waited for him to move on, to be brave enough in what to say. “Do you think you and I could be…I dunno, uh… more than…” It was sounding worse by the minute, even as he couldn’t stop holding her. “More than friends?”

It was the best he could say, and he only hoped that the silence that followed would be merciful enough. Maybe Colette would only make fun of him a little bit.

“Lloyd, is this your way of asking to kiss me?”

 _Huh?!_ _Wait, is it?!_ He blinked, staring at Colette, who seemed to have also made her own little gamble on what should happen next. Her cheeks were still flushed, even long after they had stopped dancing and running, and laughing…

Maybe it was dumb, to take her bet just then. But he leaned down to kiss her, just like he wanted to at the dance so suddenly before being pushed away. It was quick and tinged with a bit of panic, but he felt Colette press against him, not turning away.

He was already laughing in mid-kiss, pulling away only to cup her face in his hands. “You’re really a dork.”

“So are you,” she told him, matching his smile. But then there was something so sad in her eyes then, that it made Lloyd pause.

“Oh…was it that bad?” he asked. It had been his first kiss! Not exactly something one could practice…

“No, not that! It was… really nice.” Colette reached up to brush her fingers against his hands, happy to keep him near. “I’m just thinking about what Genis said.”

Lloyd’s mind stilled. “You were thinking of Genis when you kissed me?”

“Not like that!” she argued with a pout. “It’s just, what he said, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Lloyd let his hands fall from her cheeks to rest on her shoulders. “You’re gonna have to remind me what he said because I completely forgot.” Really, Genis was the _last_ thing on his mind right now!

Colette wavered, hands now brushing from his wrists down to his arms, always continually touching him. He hoped she would keep doing that. “Lloyd, do you think…Martel would be okay with this?”

 _That_ had been unexpected, a weird splash of cold water that just got dumped on his head. “Um, why are we talking about Church things right now?” As if talking about Genis after their kiss wasn’t weird enough!

“Maybe she wouldn’t… Because I’m supposed to…” Then she trailed off, stopped.

Lloyd saw the defeat her eyes, a pain in them that he hadn’t understood back then. There had been so much he didn’t truly get until it was too late.

Maybe what he said next was careless, but the feeling gripped his ribs, wanting to be known. “It doesn’t matter what Martel thinks,” he said, and saw Colette’s eyes widen. “I mean! Well…this doesn’t have anything to do with her, does it?”

Colette blinked, her hands gripping his tight. “It doesn’t?” she repeated, thinking it over.

“I mean, not that she’s not important!” All he ever heard about Martel was how important she was, especially to Colette, a Chosen! He didn’t want to make her feel bad, but how best could he explain? “It’s just, well, this isn’t part of being a Chosen. So… it doesn’t have anything to do with her, right? Just us.” He paused, thinking it over again, liking that so much suddenly. “It’s just us right now.”

Colette still hesitated, and suddenly he was understanding that whatever she struggled with now, she had struggled with for years and years. All of it unraveling right before him, in his very hold.

“But anything I do… has to do with Martel.” She looked down, right at those golden buttons of his. “So, shouldn’t I…”

Lloyd tried one last thing, a thrown-out fact in class that he had somehow been able to retain. “But Martel is asleep. Would she even know what you’re doing?”

Colette didn’t say anything, silent, considering.

“And besides…” Lloyd continued. “Martel is supposed to be good and kind. So, even if she was awake and everything…why wouldn’t she want her Chosen to be happy?”

Still Colette stayed silent, still, she would not say anything.

Lloyd worried just then he had messed up, but he couldn’t take back what he meant. “But it only matters if you like this.” He grinned nervously, his lips still tingling from remembered warmth. “Because I definitely do.”

“…Me too,” Colette said, staring up at him again. The words came out fast, all as she looked up at him. “I- I really liked it!”

He hadn’t expected such intensity in her eyes. “Colette?”

“I do too, I really do, I-” she said it even faster, as if she was releasing something held inside her for so long, and then she moved to kiss him again, surprising him with the force of it. But he was eager to learn, eager to take whatever Colette was giving him right now. He held her close, kissing Colette underneath the many stars.

And if Martel really was watching and disapproving them right now in her sleep, Lloyd thought, then he didn’t care. Not if Colette wanted this too. She deserved to want things, and he promised since then, that he would keep helping her believe that with every part of her heart.


End file.
